Hey, hi, hello. My name's Cameron Hummel. You might also know me as the older, and therefore wiser, Hummel twin. I'm a seventeen-year-old bookworm who unashamedly feels himself to be much more intelligent than the average population at McKinley High. Which is where I go to school, by the way. Context clues -- I use lots of 'em, so keep your eyes peeled.
I'm quiet, but not shy. When in doubt, I'm just silently judging everyone around me with the standard amount of scorn and distaste someone as cocky as I am can have. I like a lot of things. We needn't get into that, but if you follow my blog, you'll eventually figure it out. Speaking of which, I've never blogged before.
My twin brother Kurt is the most important person in the world to me. I don't know what I'd do without him. Sure, he's a little out there and he's definitely his own person, but you've gotta give him props for that. If you hurt him or talk shit about him behind his back, I will spit acid in your eyes.
Sometimes, I write and it turns out pretty well. It's just this thing that I do. I have many other secret talents, but they're secret for a reason. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll do a trick.
AUTHORS TO CONSIDER: Jonathan Safran Foer, Vladimir Nabokov, Chuck Palahniuk, Stieg Larsson, John Ajvide Linqvist, Toni Morrison, Walt Whitman, John Green, Mark Twain, Sylvia Plath, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Oscar Wilde, Wallace Stevens, William Shakespeare.
KURT: Of course you're more successful and all the rest. You're not nearly as creepy and invasive as he is. I'd be upset if you weren't; I expect flowers and of course the first signed copy of your first publication!
KURT: Because otherwise your hair looks ridiculously flat. I don't understand what you do to make it so flat!
CAMERON: Aw, that's a really nice compliment. Thanks, Kurt. I'll be there; you know I will. I'd give you flowers, chocolate, kisses... a lot of things, really. And of course you get first dibs. I can't imagine giving them to anyone else, besides maybe Dad.
KURT: Good luck with the magazine, I can't imagine it's too easy with a school like McKinley being uncooperative at the best of times. I mean as much as everyone despises Jacob, you have to admire his determination at least. You will be. And at the same time I'll be on Broadway and blowing everyone away with the fresh sound of a countertenor.
KURT: It wouldn't be so special if you made this much effort every day. People might start to think I was dressing you.
CAMERON: I do admire Jacob's determination. It's his execution that lacks finesse, which is why I'm infinitely more successful, devious, and handsome than he is. And you know I'm going to be in the front row for that, right? Or, well, in the box seat because I've always wanted to see as how from that view.
CAMERON: I think people already think you do my hair. Which you do. But still.
KURT: Any time is fine by me, although I'm stuck in longer rehearsals for Glee for the next few weeks. He sounds it, but sometimes that's how it has to be. Lie Van Gough and... Well, I'd say McQueen but he was just as well known before his tragic death as after.
KURT: Well consider me very impressed. You scrub up well.
CAMERON: Okay, no problem. We're in crunch mode for the magazine, so I've been editing like a mad man, even if our submissions are less than stellar. Anyway, I hope that I get famous before I die. I don't wanna be a posthumous author.
CAMERON: Yes, well, don't get used to it. This took a lot of effort and I plan on wearing sweatshirts and glasses for the next two weeks.
KURT: You know that if it isn't full of romance or pretty things, I'm unlikely to read it, but it doesn't mean I don't find it interesting. I'm sure I'd love the movie and you'll be there so I'm sure it'll be a good night. That's amazing and I'm glad they found them; a lot of people seem to really like his novels so it's a relief that they found them. It's just a shame he isn't here to see that.
KURT: You don't ever have to apologise for that.
KURT: I am, very proud. You look very nice from what I've seen of you today.
CAMERON: Movie night it is, then. Just lemme know when you want to do that and stuff. But yeah, you're totally right. It sucks. He was a pretty amazing dude.
KURT: Do you honestly think I'd enjoy it? Maybe I'll just watch the movie with you instead; as much as I'd love to read it, I don't have the patience at the moment. I didn't, but you learn something new everyday, right? I love seeing you so passionate about your interests, it's fascinating.
KURT: I do have some tricks up my sleeve at least, I just have to sort some things out.
CAMERON: Umm... Well, I mean, the beginning is really slow, and it's a murder mystery thriller type thing, and there are some pretty graphic violence bits, but other than that it's a great story. The movie is really well done, so we can try watching that but if you can't stomach it or aren't interested, that's okay. And yeah, they found all of the novels on his computer and scattered around his house or something, put them all together, and turned them into books.
CAMERON: Sorry. I just have a lot of literature feelings.
CAMERON: Well, I can't wait for school to be over. I wore my best clothes today and even did my hair and put my contacts in. Aren't you proud?
KURT: I'm glad. I couldn't remember if he was someone you liked or hated but you're non-stop reading anyway, so I guessed I couldn't go wrong with getting it even if you just wanted to laugh about it...
KURT: Secret. But I thought it was time for a second date at least; so that's the basis.
CAMERON: He's great. You should read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Or at least see the Fincher version of the move. It's fantastic. Did you know they published them all after he died?